Introduction

This being the Internet where I can only count on a few moments of your time, the green texts below are the most important points of my spiritual journey. You can always scroll back for the more complete story.

My name is Maurice Loiselle, and I am 72 years old. I started my spiritual journey as a committed Catholic for 46 years, including 19 years as a priest, who suddenly found himself no longer believing in the Christian God and moving onto a different spiritual path. I share this brief autobiography before my impending death, emphasizing my spiritual journey in the hope that you may find one or more helpful elements as you walk the path of your own spiritual journey, even if yours is very different from mine. You are welcome to share your own spiritual journey in the blog on this website.

On November 27, 2015 my wife and I were in New York City, listening to the results of my biopsy. The verdict: I had stage four pancreatic cancer with metastasis to the liver. Chemotherapy might prolong my life, but there was no cure. My life expectancy was six months.

After we spent time processing the shock, I walked to Saint John the Baptist Church. During our weeklong stay in New York I had stopped inside several times during my walks to and from Central Park. On this day I sat down near the front and stared at the altar on which was the monstrance, the gold-colored vessel containing the bread which Catholics believe is the body of Christ. As I stared at the monstrance, I found myself repeating, “If there were ever a time when I want to believe you are here, it is now; but I don’t. I know I never will.” I had stopped several times at Saint John the Baptist Church because it reminded me so much of the church of my youth. Both are large, well-maintained churches that were established by French Canadian immigrants and their descendants.